Marie
How I Get Natural Expressions From Anyone (Even People Who Hate Being Photographed)
I used to think I needed THE perfect method too. The one phrase that would work on everyone. The secret formula. Spoiler alert: it doesn't exist. After photographing a few thousand people, I realized something important - the method isn't the point. Reading the person is.
Think of it like this: I make incredible lasagna with béchamel - it's my signature dish, the thing I'm genuinely proud of. But my daughter Coco has celiac disease. If I only knew how to make that one perfect lasagna, she couldn't eat. I needed to learn to adapt. You need a menu, not just a signature dish.
Here's my actual system:
Step 1: Mirror their energy first
This is basic human connection 101. If someone walks in looking like they'd rather be getting a root canal, and I come at them with game show host energy, we're done before we start. If someone's bouncing off the walls excited and I'm doing my ASMR meditation voice, same problem.
I match where they are first. Don't mess with the natural state of things until you understand what you're working with.
Step 2: Run the basic test
I know, I know - every cool photographer on Instagram says "I NEVER ask people to smile." That's like saying "I never use a hammer because I'm a sophisticated carpenter who only uses sonic screwdrivers."
Sometimes a hammer is exactly what you need.
I ask people to smile. If it works great, we're done. Easy. If they give me that corporate hostage smile or their face does something weird, cool - I've learned something. This person needs a different approach. The smile command is my diagnostic tool, not my only tool.
Step 3: Conversation as reconnaissance
While we're shooting, I'm asking about hobbies, family, what they do for fun. Most people think I'm just being nice and trying to relax them. I am doing that - but I'm also collecting data.
I'm watching how they talk. What makes their face light up? When do they get animated? What makes them laugh naturally? I'm not making small talk - I'm building a database of what works for THIS person.
Step 4: Deploy targeted prompts
This is where I use what I learned.
Grandparents? Ask them to say their grandkids' names out loud. Works every single time. The expression they make is chef's kiss - pure, unguarded affection.
Someone mentions they're into pranks or has that mischievous energy? "Okay, pretend you just set up a prank and your sibling is about to walk into the room." Boom - genuine anticipation.
My personal favorite: "Look at me like you're trying to understand my French accent." (I learned English at 35, so the accent is... noticeable.) The expressions I get are hilarious - confusion, concentration, amusement, all genuine.
Sometimes I just say "pizza" at a completely random moment. Why? Because it's absurd and absurdity breaks tension.
Some people need me to match their excited energy - I basically channel my inner Robin Williams. Others need calm, so I go full meditation instructor mode.
The point is: I'm adapting to them, not forcing them into my one method.
Step 5: The mirror method (rare, but effective)
This is my nuclear option. If nothing else is working, I've got an overthinker on my hands.
These are the people who hate being photographed. They're in their head about every detail. So I take them to a mirror and we talk about facial muscles. "Lift your cheekbones slightly. See how that changes everything? Now drop your shoulders."
I make it technical. Clinical. Takes them out of the emotional performance and into mechanics. Sheldon Cooper would love it - remove emotion, focus on logic.
This is the rarest type I encounter, which makes sense. People who don't like being photographed... don't often volunteer to be photographed.
The real skill isn't the trick - it's the system
Here's what I figured out: the gear part of photography is fixed. I set up the light, the backdrop, the camera settings. That's my stage, and it doesn't change.
But the human part? That's a choose-your-own-adventure book. Every person is different, and trying to force them all through the same method. It's not going to work.
My job isn't to have the perfect trick. It's to have a system for figuring out which trick THIS person needs, right now, in this moment.
And honestly? That's way more interesting than having one signature move.